Everyone is going through something
I am poignantly reminded this week that all of us — every single one of us — is going through something…or has, or will. I learned that a friend of several years is going to get divorced and it comes as a shock. I literally felt like I had been hit with a rock.
From the outside looking in, their relationship looked perfect: plenty of love in evidence, similar wacky senses of humor, enjoyment doing the same things and spending time together. But the reality is and was different than what I saw, lending truth to the realization that if we are not in the relationship, we don’t really know what is happening in the relationship.
I am floored by the knowledge that a divorce is going to happen. How does one respond to something like this in a supportive way that doesn’t feed the anger bubbling below the surface or sound patronizing?
Empathize. Literally: understand and share the feelings of another.
Says the Oxford Reference, empathy means “the ability to imagine and understand the thoughts, perspective, and emotions of another person.”
I’ve done that. I’ve reminded my friend that I am in their corner and have been for years. We don’t live far away so if this friend needs something, we are a resource.
And then I stopped and just listened…and listened…and listened. For now, that’s all I can do. Outwardly, I’m being supportive. Inside, my heart is breaking.
I have been interested in the natural world since a very early age. My first career as a mining and exploration geologist took me around the world. In 1992, I began to focus on the conservation of natural resources. I enjoy sailing, working with WordPress and Linux, and amateur radio. It probably goes without saying that I also like to travel!